is the twenty-third episode of Underground Ernie. It originally aired on 15 November 2006.
Brooklyn returns to International Underground with a statue to be displayed on the line, he refers to it as a piece of genuine modern art - the trouble is everyone thinks it's ugly and they don't want it on their platforms! While Circle gives Brooklyn a tour of her line, Mr Rails is struggling to find a place to put the statue. Jubilee, Victoria, Bakerloo and the twins have all turned it down. He also has to make something as a gift to Brooklyn's railway!
Victoria takes Brooklyn to the museum to look at what she considers to be real art, while Mr Rails is about to put the statue on display at Sprout's Organic Farm, but Circle convinces him otherwise. With nowhere to put it, Mr Rails prepares to take it back with him, but squashes Farmer Sprout's wheelbarrow in the process.
Mr Rails finally puts the statue on display, but hasn't made anything for Brooklyn, but it turns out he needn't have worried - Brooklyn mistakes the squashed wheelbarrow as the gift, much to everyone's relief, and Brooklyn returns home to America, surveying his statue on display. Mr Rails put it on the International Line, so that way nobody would have to look at it!
The trains have a chat about art that night, and Circle comes to the conclusion that art is anything you want it to be, prompting Jubilee to list squashed things that could count as art, much to the annoyance of Bakerloo!
"Where's the statue, Brooklyn?"
"This is a present from the American Underground. You're gonna love it!"
"...it's not supposed to be of Ernie, is it?"
"No, this is a piece of genuine modern art!"
"We don't want it on our line, do we City?"
"Nobody said moving statues would be part of the job..."
"Hmm... Why don't we ask Mr Rails to make something in his workshop?"
"Of course! He's so good at making things!"
"I see Mr Rails is making a trip to the scrap heap!" "How do you know that, Bakerloo?" "Elementary, my dear Victoria! He was carrying an enormous piece of rubbish!"
"That is a matter of opinion!"
"Well, I don't want it on my line!" "Or mine! That Brooklyn needs to be shown what real art is."
"Erm, could you make a statue for Brooklyn to take back to America?"
"Well, if this is what passes for art nowadays, maybe I could!"
"This would be a fantastic place for my statue. Whaddya think, Circle?"
"And I hope you don't mind me saying that I don't like the statue, Brooklyn. It's not natural enough for me."
"Ah, that's OK, we don't all have to like the same things. That's what I love about art!"
"Oh, Brooklyn. You're so groovy!"
"Brooklyn. I'd like you to come with me to see some real art at the museum station."
"What are you doing with that old thing, Mr Rails?"
"Ugh, I'm putting it on display!"
"But you can't put it here, it'll be in the way!"
"Oh... Yes, you're right there..."
"So, this is real art, you say?"
"Yes, my dear! Now do you see what I mean?"
"Well, sure, it's very nice, but I kinda like more modern stuff. You know?"
"Look more closely then please!"
"See the carving - feel the beauty!"
"It'll have to go at one of Circle's stations then!"
"Yes, what about Sprout's Organic Farm?" "Will do, Ernie!"
"And you haven't forgotten about making a statue of your own, I hope?"
"Yeah - I can only do one thing at a time, Ernie!"
"Well you know what they say, Mr Rails never fails!"
"No, no! It can't go here - Brooklyn knows I don't like the statue"
"I'm sorry, Circle, but Ernie said to put it here, so here it goes!"
"But - but, but it will block the platform! And that can't be safe!"
"Oh, bothersome buffers!"
"Ernie, I can't put that piece of junk at the organic farm!" "Hang on, hang on, Mr Rails!"
"Hehe, excuse me Brooklyn."
"Safety must come first."
"Why don't you put the statue on the International Train Line? It'll be well away from any station!"
"Having a bad day, Mr Rails?"
"Then again! I'm so sorry!!"
"Don't you worry! That was my oldest wheelbarrow! I was going to replace it anyway!"
"You'll see it before you go, Brooklyn!"
"It's all in place, never thought I'd say it, but it looks grand!"
"So, on behalf of the International Underground..." "Er, Ernie? I didn't get around to -"
"Wow, look at that modern art!" "What, this?!"
"Mr Rails, you're a genius!"
"Well, I don't know what to say..."
"I knew you wouldn't let us down!"
"Beautiful! Just gorgeous!"
"So, we gave Brooklyn a squashed wheelbarrow?!"
"Yeah! Apparently, Brooklyn called Mr Rails a genius!"
"And I thought I'd told him what real art is!"
"Art can be anything you want it to be!"
"What about a squashed bucket?"
"Or a squashed football?" "That can be art too!"
"Or a squashed video camera?" "Oh, this is ridiculous!"
"Ahaha!! A squashed computer, a squashed train shed, squashed banana, squashed aardvark, squashed traction engine, squashed lemon?